Take 1

Every day is another take on life. Another snapshot, another click of the mouse, another first try, another excuse to start over. Words that were said yesterday lose their meaning today. Whatever is said or done today is less in rating tomorrow. The effects are everlasting there is no doubt, but the intensity of it all, whether it be bad or good, diminish in time.

We were driving over to our schools, both attending and pending. Cameron looks over at me from the drivers seat and I know what he's thinking. Before he gets a single word out I say, "I still think the other one is a better choice."

He just stares. We've gotten past that part in our friendship that when we know what the other is thinking, it's not that big a shock anymore. So he just stares. I give one long look and I turn my head and look out the window into the vast expanse of grassy hills, dirt and rock formations that are amazing, burnt, dead trees and bushes, all that reside and make up the beauty and horror that is the San Fernando Valley. The scenery passes me by as a blurry mess, like a video recording gone bad due to a dirty lens. After a few songs have played and passed on my iPod blasting through the speakers of my car, Cameron looks over and speaks. Lately, I've just gotten this feeling that something's off about him, like something is bothering him and I just can't pinpoint and every time I ask him, he says he's fine.

"You're not going to give up are you?", he asks me.

"Nope and you know it.", I answer back.

"Why are you so persistent that I go to that particular college? What does it matter?"

I turn towards him slowly with a shocked look on my face as I exclaim, "What does it matter?! Ar you serious? It matters a great deal actually where you decide to go to school and get your education. This is not something to be taken lightly. You may not care much about it because you've had a three year reprieve of no school and off doing God only knows what with your life and now that you're back you think it's just something to do. Sorry bud, but going to college is not just something to do."

"Jeez, what's got your panties all in a twist?!"

"Cameron, I know your older than me and all, but I know more about college than you do. Take this advice from someone who is true in her intentions about helping you out. I started my college life the same way you are. I thought, I'm not going to bust my butt just so I could go to some ivy league school because it has a name. My senior year I got a major case of the 'fuck-its' and just went on by. I got into the easy school, only soon to realize that it's not easy in the least. Every day I learned more and more about statistics and whatnot about my school; how many seniors actually graduate, how many students drop out, how many don't make it past their first semester! Your'e going into a community college, so it's going to be easier on you than going to a four year university but that doesn't mean you should treat this any less seriously."

"You don't get it do you?"

I take a deep breath before blowing out my brains and sigh. "Clearly I don't as you just now stated. So please, help me understand."

"School is terrifying for me. I've never been good at school. You saw my grades, my GPA. I've never been able to learn in school. It's always been a struggle for me. I do amazing outside of school. I learn quick at jobs, at whatever else I'm doing but school, school is something else entirely. I'm scared shitless about going back to school. Granted I haven't been to school for six years, so that adds to my anxiety, but just thoughts of what school was like for me back then doesn't help the situation either."

"I get it. You're scared. But you do have to realize and get it through that oppressively thick skull of yours that college is in no way the same as high school. So you were poked fun because you weren't the smartest or the brightest. Are you the same person?"

"No."

"Will you be surrounded by the same douchebags and assholes like you were then?"

"No."

"Are you situated in an environment where everyone is out to get you?"

"No."

"Are the people in your life fake like they were back then?"

"No."

"Have you answered no to all these questions?"

"Are you deaf? Yes, I answered no to them all!"

I look back at him with the most serious face I can muster and utter one word in response, "Good." and I look back out my window and turn up the volume to Thriving Ivory's "For Heaven's Sake." It fit perfectly as the lyrics shouted back "Pull yourself together for you set yourself apart. Make every door you walk through, a living work of art."

He turns down the volume and stares back at me, aghast.

"Good?! That's all you have to say? Good??!"

"Yes. Did you want more?"

"I...I mean...this...UGH!!"

I smile. That's all I can do. I turn the music back up and we make our way to our destination in silence. (If you count singing along to songs on the way silence.)

I know it's only the beginning of the war and the battle has yet to be won, but the skirmish has begun. Both parties have injured to tend to and losses to mourn, but it's all worth it. Life is a gamble and a war. There is always someone, or something, out there to be on the opposing team with better militia, cavalry, you name it. But with great friends, family, and all that good stuff on your side, you know you will win, because it's the little things in life that matter. I may not win the skirmish, battle or war, fought out on a hilltop somewhere in the middle of nowhere, but in the end, the reason behind my fighting tooth and nail will be understood and seen and that will make all the difference.

It's not about winning for me, not in the least. My fighting is not for my own gain, but for that of a beloved, for someone very dear to me. Cameron knows that I will ride out into the sunset, chasing whoever is out there to hurt him or whoever has hurt him, with every weapon I can get a hold of, and I will not relent until I feel satisfied.

The actors walk off stage and call it a day. The director gets up off his chair and goes to the food stand and gets himself a cup of coffee. The lighting crew takes down the lights and starts putting the gear away. Right before the lights turn off and the set is closed for the day, the guy in the corner who wants to be a director one day gets the director's board, stands in front of the camera, says "End Scene" and walks off stage.