Sunday, February 28, 2010
Fireflies
Julie stared at her phone waiting for him to call. She knew it was a stupid thing to do, to wait. He would call when he got home. She knew it. But she couldn't help but stare anyways. As she was staring, she saw stars. No not movie stars, but balls of light far away in the galaxy stars.
Her mind wandered as she saw these stars. Julie was in bed while all this happened. She fell into a daze and later found herself in her backyard on her trampoline staring out into the night sky, under the stars that started this whole thing.
2 years had passed since things changed drastically. 2 years ago, Julie was still a baby, still this naive little girl who didn't know anything about what was going on in the world around her. But all that changed. Her little daze took her on a journey down memory lane. Good, bad, happy, sad, angry, crazy, normal, every memory that has made its home in the back of her mind came into play that day. All the friends she had made, the one's that stayed, the one's that said goodbye, the stupid things she had done, the smart things she had done; each and every single memory brought tears to her eyes.
There was one big tug of war going on inside her heart. It was the battle that would not let her rest for these past couple months now. Julie missed her best friend. They had a sort of falling out and she didn't like it, but there was nothing that she could really do. For the past two years they would spend every waking moment together. They had gone through a lot together even though they didn't always see eye to eye. And then she met the one person who would change it all. This is where it got complicated.
Julie loved the new person in her life. They were the perfect pair. Always on the same wavelength, always eye to eye, always laughing, always joking. She couldn't have been happier. She would be the happiest person if both these people, that she loved oh so dearly, could stand the other. But that was wishful thinking. Her soul mate, twin, partner in crime, whatever you wanted to call "him" and her best friend before him would never be happy in the same room for any length of time. They were completely different people, but she got along with them both just fine. She was lying to herself when she said this because she knew she got along with him way better than with her.
He was perfect in every way. She knew of his flaws and every negative aspect that everyone around her would fling in her face but she didn't care. She could never care, so long as he was in her life. They were the perfect pair. No matter what anyone said it didn't matter. She knew him better than anyone, inside and out. No matter how many times he told her her loved her, or that he wasn't going anywhere, she couldn't help but think that things were too good to be true. She couldn't help but think that this was all a dream, a sick game someone was playing to mess with her feelings and that he would be gone the next day.
"She" was Julie's best friend. Forever and always. Or so they both thought. They both made mistakes and lost the other. They still talked, still laughed, still loved one another but things weren't the same.
Julie woke up to find herself under the stars, outside, late at night. It was only evening when this all began but it felt like much longer. She looked around her, took a deep breathe and relaxed. Julie knew that it was finally time to come to terms with what had happened in her life, and the turn her life had taken. There were so many pro's and con's for both sides, but the pro's for being with him outweighed any cons she had for anything else.
Julie took one last look at the stars before she went back into the house. She looked up at the light bulbs in the sky that became her friends. They gave her strength, they gave her guidance and they gave her peace of mind, and heart. They were her fireflies.
"I'd like to make myself believe. That planet Earth turns, slowly. It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep. 'Cause everything is never as it seems. When I fall asleep."
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