Fireflies

Julie stared at her phone waiting for him to call. She knew it was a stupid thing to do, to wait. He would call when he got home. She knew it. But she couldn't help but stare anyways. As she was staring, she saw stars. No not movie stars, but balls of light far away in the galaxy stars.

Her mind wandered as she saw these stars. Julie was in bed while all this happened. She fell into a daze and later found herself in her backyard on her trampoline staring out into the night sky, under the stars that started this whole thing.

2 years had passed since things changed drastically. 2 years ago, Julie was still a baby, still this naive little girl who didn't know anything about what was going on in the world around her. But all that changed. Her little daze took her on a journey down memory lane. Good, bad, happy, sad, angry, crazy, normal, every memory that has made its home in the back of her mind came into play that day. All the friends she had made, the one's that stayed, the one's that said goodbye, the stupid things she had done, the smart things she had done; each and every single memory brought tears to her eyes.

There was one big tug of war going on inside her heart. It was the battle that would not let her rest for these past couple months now. Julie missed her best friend. They had a sort of falling out and she didn't like it, but there was nothing that she could really do. For the past two years they would spend every waking moment together. They had gone through a lot together even though they didn't always see eye to eye. And then she met the one person who would change it all. This is where it got complicated.

Julie loved the new person in her life. They were the perfect pair. Always on the same wavelength, always eye to eye, always laughing, always joking. She couldn't have been happier. She would be the happiest person if both these people, that she loved oh so dearly, could stand the other. But that was wishful thinking. Her soul mate, twin, partner in crime, whatever you wanted to call "him" and her best friend before him would never be happy in the same room for any length of time. They were completely different people, but she got along with them both just fine. She was lying to herself when she said this because she knew she got along with him way better than with her.

He was perfect in every way. She knew of his flaws and every negative aspect that everyone around her would fling in her face but she didn't care. She could never care, so long as he was in her life. They were the perfect pair. No matter what anyone said it didn't matter. She knew him better than anyone, inside and out. No matter how many times he told her her loved her, or that he wasn't going anywhere, she couldn't help but think that things were too good to be true. She couldn't help but think that this was all a dream, a sick game someone was playing to mess with her feelings and that he would be gone the next day.

"She" was Julie's best friend. Forever and always. Or so they both thought. They both made mistakes and lost the other. They still talked, still laughed, still loved one another but things weren't the same.

Julie woke up to find herself under the stars, outside, late at night. It was only evening when this all began but it felt like much longer. She looked around her, took a deep breathe and relaxed. Julie knew that it was finally time to come to terms with what had happened in her life, and the turn her life had taken. There were so many pro's and con's for both sides, but the pro's for being with him outweighed any cons she had for anything else.

Julie took one last look at the stars before she went back into the house. She looked up at the light bulbs in the sky that became her friends. They gave her strength, they gave her guidance and they gave her peace of mind, and heart. They were her fireflies.

"I'd like to make myself believe. That planet Earth turns, slowly. It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep. 'Cause everything is never as it seems. When I fall asleep."

Dear Diary...

He is the arrow that pierces my heart and guides me home.

He is the star in my night sky that shines down on me and lights up surroundings.

He is the perfect shade of whatever color I need in my crayon box.

He is the song that makes me cry and sing and laugh all at the same time.

He is the beat of every tick of the time hand on my wrist.

He is the imperial ship at sea that weighs anchor to help the lost sailboat that is me.

He is the outfit that makes me look great when he looks at me with longing and love in his eyes.

He is the unshed tears that fail to fall when the perfect words are spoken.

The hands of time can not stop this great thing we hold dear. I will not dare speak what this thing is for if I do, the secret will be not ours. It is ours to keep, ours to think upon, ours to laugh about, ours to hold, ours to cherish. We both have questions that need answers. We both have fears that we can not seem to let go, yet. But I know, together, we can make it through every obstacle, every peril, every hardship, every bump, that life throws our way.

This is for you. And this is for me. This is for us. And this...this is what it means to truly be, in love.

Good Band...Wrong Venue

It’s Saturday night at the Wiltern. I’m standing up front, all the way in the front, at the point where I can extend my hand and touch the speakers on the stage floor, I hear nothing but bass and subwoofers and drums. I feel my entire body shaking. It says something about the acoustics of the place. Walk to the back, go outside into the lobby or go upstairs to the balcony, and I can actually hear the words.

It’s getting closer to 9p.m. The venue is slowly starting to fill up. Give it another ten minutes and the opening band enters, takes center stage and starts rocking out.

Scotty Don’t is the non-tribute band that tours with Badfish, the band dedicated to performing nothing but Sublime songs. The band, Scotty Don’t, includes members of Badfish, so it’s kind of like their alter ego.

The band plays about four songs, and the lights go back on. The people start to fidget for a bit then walk back toward the doors, away from the stage, to get more drinks, possible bathrooms breaks and to mingle. About twenty minutes later, the band that everyone is here to see is on stage. The lights go back down and the show begins.

The songs were cool: great rhythm, good beat, good sound. However, the venue they chose to play at didn’t quite fit with their music and style. The Wiltern is a great place, but to be honest, Badfish could have had a livelier crowd and the feel of the show would have been much better if they performed at the Avalon.

Every venue has a certain, how shall we say, sense, to it. The Wiltern is probably better suited for bands like Switchfoot and Shinedown.Bands that are a little more widespread and better known that attract more audiences and fill the entire place up. Avalon is more for those bands who have either passed the Roxy stage and made themselves known, even if it isn’t that well known, or are for those bands like Badfish, who are known for the tribute they pay to a certain band.

All in all, the show was mediocre. It would have been much better with more people, who were actually interactive and moved around and showed their enthusiasm for being there, instead of just standing there bobbing their heads like those bobble-head toys.

The music was good, I must admit that. It had a little modern rock with a hint of reggae to it, which sounded interesting and catchy. If there’s anything that you can learn from this, it’s that even though you may be going to see a band you like perform, if the venue isn’t right for them and the crowd isn’t how it should be, then you’re not going to have that great a time.